My short term goals...UNIVERSITY!!

Phyllis, Phyllis, Phyllis.

The time has come. Everything that I have ever worked for, everything that I have ever sacrificed, spent my time on, studied for, volunteered for, ran for, sweat for, bled for, and cried for has come down to these next few important months of high school.

Receiving a coveted acceptance letter from the university of my choice and in general, is one of epitomes of success and accomplishment. I am going to university, no matter what I am going to get in to the program and unversity I want to get into.

Whatever happened to that keen, hard-working, perfectionist grade 9 who got 90's in everything, huh? You need to fucken come back and fight for your marks and get your damn average up. It's going to rise like a frickin thermometer, getting hotter and hotter, closer and closer to my goal.

What is my goal? Right now with a meek 77% average, that is fucken just horrible. No school will want to accept me with those terrible marks. From what I find, it's either I go to a prestigious university program with high average admissions like 88+ OR it's the stupid 70+ average anyone-can-go-to programs at a horrible school with dumb white idiots. No, that is not friggin happening to me. I am going to freaking own it these next few weeks and dominate these exams and rock it and ace it!

MY GOAL? I am determined and I really want to go into the kinesiology program at McMaster's! Three whole years of undecisiveness and trouble and insecurity has lead me to this situtation now. I have never wanted anything more in my life right now. And I am have never been more sure. I really want to get into this program! I need at least around an 88+ average! Last year, the cutoff was about 87 or 88 avg. Will got a 96% avg. Plus, I need the marks for scholarships! If I don't get into Mac Kin, I'll have to settle with Waterloo or maybe U of T. But I reall want to go there! I have always had an interest in anatomy and sports and helping people and general well-being of people with the science aspect of it from labs and research.

HOW? I'm going to study fucken hard. This means hours on end per night studying with few breaks in between. I really got to keep concentrated and focused and ask questions and call people. And ask for help from teachers. Maybe get a tutor? I just really got to step my game up and raise my average and do well before the end of this year. OUAC applications are coming soon and if I don't get good marks, they're not going to even consider me. You can do it Phyllis, I believe in you. Don't let distractions and idiots and fools get in your way. You really have to commit to studying hard and making it count.

Love,
Phyllis :D
P.S. You will always be a superhero in my eyes :D

MY BUSY WEEK

alright, this week at school has been utterly supremely academically BUSYYYYY!! beyond belief! zomg!

it was pretty overwhelming. rene had all the same things as meeeeeee, EXCEPT i had so much more and she was complaining so much and saying how she was so busy she couldn't hang out and was so worried she couldt get anything done that weekend. wow, well i had the exact same things and hockey and i try to at least have a bit of fun sometimes!

this past week...Oct 31-Nov 4, i had sooo much!

monday: the huge ex sci seminar on concussion, huge biology CAH research outline due

tuesday: economics test and calculus retest, OH and went trick-or-treating for free the children club with angalee, adriene c, gabe linzay, etc. lol from afterschool to 7:30pm!!! happy Halloween! i was bob marley yeahhh mon!

wednesday: chemistry research project due on organic compounds, dr.tim rindlis. talking, biology test + 1.5 hr hockey practice

thursday: missed school, MOMMY'S BDAYYYYYY!! happy 46th bday mommy, love you! went to u of t campus tour!!

friday: chemistry test, ex sci muscles test, English ergonomics article due, proof of process concussions due

then friday went to c 'moneyball' with some peeps...fell asleep how beautiful! there goes $10.75!

then went to hockey game at mastercard, 0-4 loss. boo!

THE GREAT THING about all this is-- i didn't even feel stressed out at all this week. honestly, i barely felt stressed out. i was less stressed than i thought i really would be! but i just kept going through!

then today, i went for about 6 hours in total of commuting and everything in a limo to canyon creek to celebrate chanee's 16th! lol talking bout maritel? the telemarketing company they work for to sell charity tickets. and took pics and i had salmon and finally had an actual FONDANT cake for the first time! afterwards, went and changed at sherway gardens to hockey uniform and its game time at mastercard! we lost 0-5. fml, i cried right before my first shift because i guess it's been such a busy week and i got singled out twice by carol and kim...fu!

i always get the motherfucken short end of the stick! no matter what and no matter how hard i work to prove myself, i always get it and it just happens. like allllll the freaking time. fuck that! i have to stand up for myself and hold steady! and fucken fight for my damn ass rights and not take shit from people. next time, i wont be afraid be to just "SETTLE" with what's happened to me. I have to fight back, be hungry, and even challenge authority and NOT be a 'nodder'. That Steve Jobs convocation address we studied before he died really hit me. motherfuckerz, this bitch is about to be the bomb and u better not get in her way!

because i dont frickin take shit from people! i have gone thru too much and sacrificed too much to take shit from people. so eff u and go jump off a bridge. im standing up for myself and getting whats rightfully MINE! I ALWAYS WORK HARD...in almost everything. c'mon reap me with the rewards already. or rape. haha that's a great way to end this long week and this long rant! :D

I HATE fake, materialistic, ethnocentric people

When did being honest and authentic become such a bad thing? I have honestly never met sooo many fake-ass, two-faced bitches in my life. A high concentration of them at NT.

--written in grade 11