****Hot guys alert: DISNEY MEN****

Check this link out, you won't regret it.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/samstryker/when-you-wish-upon-a-hunk?bffbrewind&utm_term=4ldqphu#.lirEOmaQX

New places/countries I want to visit in the next 5-10 years

In no particular order I guess...:

1. Thailand/Vietnam/Indonesia (Cambodia again) - explore Southeast Asia more, meditation, learn to cook food, business ventures, business opportunities, NGO opportunities, language

2. China - Hong Kong, Canton, Beijing, Shanghai, Hainan

3. Israel - Jerusalem, Judaism

4. South Africa - Cape Town, Johannesburg

5. UK - London!

6. USA: New York (again, but real time for exploring/adventure this time), California - for like EVERYTHING MY GOD = DREAM PLACE TO BE BITCHES.

7. Singapore, Malaysia

Update

Hello world!

Wow, can you believe it's been over a year since I've used this blog? And then since 2012 since the time before that! Jesus, am I ever sorry! I have just used other forms of expression and blogging since then, and have basically been neglecting this one, haha - with school and everything. But no excuses!

I just wanted to share how I've been feeling over the past couple of months and weeks as I learn more about myself and as I learn more about life as an upper year university student studying in Canada. I just have a few more semesters to go, and I realized that...the time really does fly by. It flies by because sometimes, I don't enjoy what I'm doing and live on the skin of my teeth week by week. Sometimes, I just cannot wait until the week is over. It's like that most weeks actually. I'm not really enjoying myself these days at my school. And I'm not really enjoying the company I keep around. And I think that has to change. I have to get my shit more together and gain a better understanding of what it is that I want, and get a better grip and hold on my life. I'm absolutely sick, so very sick of living each day, day-to-day, just living week-by-mediocre-fucken-week. I fucken hate it. It is so boring. It is so draining. And it sucks the life right out of me. It also makes me feel extremely lonely and unfulfilled.

Well, no more! Today, is the brand new after Chinese New Year, and I'm going to make the rest of this semester count! Over the past couple of months, I have let those unimportant to me fizzle out and dissolve away, a bit with a heavy heart. But, I think that is the best medicine. I have to let go of things that're holding me back. I have to let go of the negative, clingy, poor things that keep me in fear, that prevent me from pursuing my dreams. I read a quite somewhere before: if you want to fly free, you have to let go of the things that weigh you down. And I feel like I'm trying to do that. I'm trying to accomplish that for sure. I almost never talk to my high school best friend anymore. My other best friend is "says" she is going to move abroad, but we'll see about that. My other dropped out of university last year. And my other friend just started her first year...you know...whatever. Whatever. And the friends here right now at my university, some are pretty mediocre. They're just mediocre. They're just stepping, flowing through the motions, but not feeling and reeling and taking it all in. I don't see any strong emotions, and feelings, and passion from them. They may as well be walking skinny skeletons with dead, black, bored, sunken eyes, because that's all I see from these people. Riddled and crippled with insecurity, fear, uncertainty, guilt, shyness, timidness, anxiety, and even more fear. But I can't let that get to me. I have to keep around the people around me who have similar goals and aspirations as me. I have to keep those people around and remember why I am here. Everyone has their own reasons for being in university and being in school. Mind are a little more refined. And I want to gain as much as humanly possible as I can from this experience and walk away a changed person for it. I'm already quite a more changed, refined, growing, mature person, truly! But I can't forget why I came here. I can't forget why I nearly killed myself over to even be here. It was because I wanted to chase after something higher, better for myself. I wanted to make deep, meaningful relationships with lifelong friends. I wanted to learn more about myself. I wanted to learn how the field I'm interested in can take me further. I wanted to create lasting memories, and fun moments, like what the typical "university" experience would be like. I wanted a little more taste of freedom. I wanted to get away from the city, from my parents, from the known, from the familiar, from the recognizable, and experience something completely new and different in a new and different city. That's why I came here. And quite honestly, yes, I think some of my goals have been reached, or at least partially met. I have formed some pretty deep, meaningful, long-lasting relationships here for sure. I have made some pretty great memories with some pretty great people. I have expanded my social circles and my network of connections/contacts. I have learnt more about my field than I would have ever thought possible past coach or "sports scientist". I have learnt so much. I have learnt immensely about myself, about the world, about how others function, and I am grateful for that. Literally, anything from drinking to keeping friends to how to talk to acquaintances to what colour belt to wear to microexpressions of the face to stupid LabChart to period pants to talking to professors to scheduling my time to the bussing system to understanding the city more to...the list goes on and on.

Wow, I haven't thought about that in a very long time - why I came to university, the purpose of me being in university and as a grade 12 student, what I thought I wanted to get out of it, and what I'm actually experiencing now and receiving out of my experiences so far.

But hey, there's still a few more semesters to go, still a good chuck of the semester left for this term, and I'm excited to put my new skills to the test, and to pursue my new shorter term goals. I have a couple more renewed, new, fresh, goals to work towards for the rest of the semester and for the summer coming up. 2015 will be a pretty decent year, I'm sure of it. And I want to only prepare myself for the best, but don't be surprised if I'm dealt with the worse. Because I honestly need to surround myself with the best, positive, upbeat, friendly, outgoing, intellectually-stimulating people. And all the other people in this fucken shin-dig - all the negative, ugly, stupid, lazy, slothy, jealous, envious, insecure, stupid, dependent, jealous, envious, fearful, incompetent, dumbass, party-er, flaky, idiots can just get the fuck out and fuck the fuck off. Stop being a distraction to me. That's it - you are invisible to me. You're like that stupid theory: If I didn't hear the tree fall down, did it still fall down? Of course it did you stupid ignorant idiot! Absolutely the same thing here. I sort of have to be ignorant of certain people and things in order to chase after and stay concentrated and keep my eyes on the prize of my goal: If I don't fucken visually see you or make eye contact with you, you don't fucken exist in my life. You are out of my motherfucken mind so goddamn fast. So fast. I go 0 to 100 nigga real quick.

Being You Authenthic, True-Self

This is one of the best passages I've seen about being authentic and being your true-self I have seen in a very long, long time. Credits to the Personal Discovery Course that helped bring it to my attention. Thanks. Here it is:


"We arrive in this world with birthright gifts - then we spend the first half of our lives abandoning them or letting others disabuse us of them. As young people, we are surrounded by expectations that may have little to do with who we really are, expectations held by people who are not trying to discern our selfhood but to fit us into slots. In families, schools, workplaces, and religious communities, we are trained away from true self toward images of acceptability; under social pressures like racism and sexism [and consumerism] our original shape is deformed beyond recognition; and we ourselves, driven by fear, too often betray true self to gain the approval of others. ...
Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic selfhood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be. As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks - we will also find our path of authentic service in the world. True vocation joins self and service, as Frederick Buechner asserts when he defines vocation as "the place where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need."

--Parker Palmer

...wow.

Amazing Summer Job/Volunteer/Employment Opportunities for Toronto teenagers/youth

In honour of my 70th post on this blog, I am going to post 4 of the best Summer Job/Volunteer/Employment/Enrichment Opportunities and Programs for Toronto kids, all at a minimal or decent expense.

1. YMCA Summer Work Student Exchange (SWSE)

The YMCA Summer Work Student Exchange is a unique national exchange program that brings together youth from various communities across the country. Participating youth, aged 16 and 17, have the opportunity to improve their second official language skills, and gain important employment experience through a work placement while on their exchange.

Within local participating communities, other community partners such as exchange hosts, employers, our summer staff and the community at large also both contribute to the program and benefit from participation.

In 6 short weeks over the summer, participants go on a journey that will forever impact their life. Learning more about themselves, discovering another part of Canada and the people that make up our great nation, taking on new challenges, making new friends and, having so much fun, participants agree this experience is THE JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME! The cost is only $50 for registration fees. The rest of the program is covered through VIA Rail and the Government.

 2. The Explore Program

Five-Week French-Language Bursary Program — Most expenses are covered!

Are you looking for a spring or summer program to learn French? Do you want to discover another region of Canada and meet new people? Go Explore!

Explore is a five-week intensive language-immersion course. You can take the course in the spring or summer, whichever you prefer. Participants in Explore receive a $2,000 bursary (taxable income) that covers tuition fees for the courses, instructional materials, meals and accommodations, workshops, and other mandatory activities. Eligibility requirements include being 16 or over and finished Grade 11.

The best part is that you can receive a $2,000 bursary for the institution you applied to study at (ranging from University of Victoria to University of Montreal). You have a choice to put down preferences for which province/territory you want to study at during the spring/summer.

3. Katimavik

Katimavik is Canada’s leading youth volunteer service organization for Canadian citizens aged 17-21 or 18-35 (for the eco-internship). By taking part in one of our intensive volunteer service and learning programs, you will help change Canadian communities,  be the difference, and learn more about yourself.

As a Katimavik volunteer, you will work full-time for not-for-profit organizations that play an important role in community development and support. Volunteer periods are for 6 months, starting in either January or June each year, where you are reimbursed for you volunteering at $2 per day. It is a lifetime oppurtunity to meet other youth from around Canada. Spots are always limited as they pay for your housing, transportation, food, basic necessities, and program activites for 6 months. There is only a $300 registration fee and a $350 travel deposit upon acceptance.

4. Ontario Rangers

DO YOU... 

·         Need a summer job?

·         Want to help the environment?

·         Enjoy the outdoors?

·         Seek out new adventures?

·         Like to make new friends?  

WERE YOU ... Born in 1995?  (You can ONLY BE ELIGIBLE if you are in your Grade 11 summer)

If so, the Ontario Ranger Program might offer the once-in-a-lifetime summer job experience that you are looking for! Accommodation, food, and most travel is covered. You can even earn 1 or 2 co-op credit for doing this, WHILE getting paid simultaneously. There are always thousands of applicants each year. Spaces are limited, but if you're lucky, you can be drawn by our lottery system.

 This program aims to provide participants with a unique combination of work, learning and life experiences.

As an Ontario Ranger, you will live and work at one of 13 Ontario Ranger camps across the province for 8 weeks in the summer. 

Some of your work projects may include: 

·         Working in Ontario Parks -- creating and maintaining portages, hiking trails and water access points

·         Assisting in research of species at risk and other wildlife

·         Planting and cleaning-up along streams

·         Creating and monitoring habitat for fish and wildlife

·         Participating in local community events

There you go! I really hope you get the chance to apply for these. I know I really wanted to do Ontario Rangers last year but couldn't because I missed the application deadline by 3 days. I was devastated. But please look into them. They are once-in-a-lifetime enrichment opportunities that can't be missed.

Prom Tingz 2012

Alright, ladies and gentlemen! The post-prom information session!

Prom night went very well. I am pleased. Everything worked out the way I wanted it to.

In the morning, I prepared everything I needed for the night, and didn't forget anything. I got my hair done at Fiorio, which took 2 hours, but it turned out amazing, I love it. (The poof wasn't as big as I wanted it to be, but hey, great enough for $55!!!) Thanks to Joy and that Iranian lady I can't pronounce the name of. :D

It was hilarious. I felt kinda special. There were 2 ladies working on me and like occasionally, flocks of 4-5 people came to work on me. Is this surgery here or what? And the lady in charge, who is originally french, looked exactly like Miranda the black resident/attendant on Grey's Anatomy, omg. I loved my hair!

Then I went to pick up my corsage placed in my locker kindly by Chn. By then, we were already running a little late heading to Z's. But thank god my mother was there to help me dress and everything. Everyone else was fucken impatient and not a real friend so they left without me in the car to pre-prom. S stayed so we left together, just a minute after. Ha, take that! They didn't even compliment my hair or dress...bitches. Whatever, they're not my real friends at all that I would actually hang out with outside of school and when high school is over. Never.

So we get to her house, we are greeted ever so sweetly by her cute grandmother, omg! Her house is ginormical. The outside isn't that pretty but damn. The inside is humongous, very fancy. Everyone just hung out and took pictures of her backyard. No one was touring around her house/living room/dining room, etc. Everyone was in the backward/balcony mingling around, taking pictures. Saw the backyard tennis courts and the indoor pool, my god. She's loaded. 

So after some good group photos, we went past the fountain and outside where everyone awaited for their limos. #LimoFiasco! Our's came on time thank god and we finally arrived around 7:30. Everyone else came like 8, 8:30 because the limo guy was very unreliable.

Anyways, the limo ride was okay. I kinda got a headache because we sat sideways and the limo diver was like worse than my father. The music was remixes, but only on a CD, so not too good song selection. Although, I did scream out the window. (Not the sunroof, unfortunately. We were not allowed, dammit!!!!) I was really looking forward to screaming out the sunroof with blaring music on, going so fast down the highway. Ha, no. It was bumper-to-bumper traffic because of the One Direction concert, so that fantasy was crushed right there. And everyone kinda started getting a headache because people got really hungry, including me, who only just had breakfast.

We get to prom itself, whoo hoo! I see my friend. My jaws dropped for him, by golly. Showing up in a dress, it's gutsy. Anyways, some pics were taken. We had Shirley Temples. It was right by the lake. And there was a really nice patio in the back. But not worth the $115. The rest of the night was kinda mundane. Just normal dinner, not outstanding food. 

Then DANCE time! There were only like 3 actual good songs that people danced to. We also took pro photos with the photographer. But by 10-10:30, everyone already started leaving right after dinner because I guess they wanted to make it to AFTERPROM.

AFTERPROM is where the real party started, motherfuckers. People were smoking and drinking everywhere. There was a small bench and all three clique of girls made out with their guys. Beer and liquor was everywhere on the floor. We got some fresh air for quite awhile at the balcony (wasted time listening to E's conversation with another random frat guy). But after a big chunk of Captain Morgan rum, a shot, and some beer, I really started to have fun and let loose. Dancing all out with Gabe, lol. That was pretty fun. I'd say, that dancing was kinda the highlight of my night, just completely letting go and having fun and not worrying. Dancing in the dark to blaring music in a dark, crowded frat house basement. Zomg. I would definitely do it again.

I gotta say, my grade was so dang classy at prom. No one wore cheap American Apparel, club, or Urban Outfitter dresses. Well, if they did wear an UO dress, they made it not seem like one. Everyone looked fabulous and classy and elegant and very well-dressed for the occasion, for sure. I, of course, was confident in my dress and heels and jewellery and hair that I spent hundreds on. Then a ride back to S's, where I (the only one, because everyone else decided to stay home when we had previously agreed to a girl's sleepover), slept over.

Overall,  it was a very fun night. Some memorable parts, other forgettable and mundane. But hey, it's the only night where all the grads in our grade can get together for one night during the year and just glam-up, take pictures, and create memories. That's what it's all about: stories and memories. So thank you. It was a wonderful night; I had fun. I'd probably give it a rating of 8/10 on the whole night. But I would defnitely do afterprom again. Haha, Round 2 anyone? After exams? Let's actually get something going so we can look forward to it. Hmmmm, I wonder why no one has thought if this before: charging ppl expensive tickets, renting out a place, and throwing a massive party for one night, then basking in the profit.

Night, people. #GottaLoveLifeNoMatterWhat #ThankYou #PromTingz #FunNight #WouldSoDoItAgain

#LiveMyLife #NoRegrets #FREEEEEEEEEEE

PROM IS TOMORROW!

PROM IS TOMORROW!
Oh my goodness sake. Prom is tomorrow. I can't believe this!
Here it is. The culmination of 4 years of motherfucken high school. Damn son! It's here, the epitome of high school. The Grammy's of high school. Make it A NIGHT TO REMEMBER. And never ever never ever never ever forget! :D Hellz yeah.

I'm really ecstatic and excited! Wow, I got everything I wanted. Perfect purple La Femme Dress. Gold heels from Christine. Wonderful jewellery from Chris and Aldo's. Really cheap jewellery/braceletes/rings and pearl/gold necklace from amazing store in Chinatown. GOLD nail polish from mommy. Hair updo like Amber Heards at Fiorio. I have a purse too! Booze, check. :)
I hope, no, I know everything will turn out fine and perfectly. I spent well over $650 for this event, so it better be worthwhile! I will not tolerate any signs or acts of negativity and hesitance. This will be a fun night and we are all going to have fun and GO CRAZY.

Wow, I can't believe this. Everything is coming together. Finally, at least I can celebrate for something after my concussions! I took a toll on me, but now everything is magically (not really), falling into place. (Thanks Law Of Attraction!)

I got my job at Loblaw's; (21 out of over 4000 applicants, might I add!!) I got my perfect prom dress; I got the prom ticket, limo, and afterparty ticket, and afterparty outfit; I am leaving with a great crop of very close friends; I FUCKEN GOT INTO MCMASTER, BTW!!; And everything is falling into place. Everything is falling together, like it was meant to be. Like it should be. Thank you! Fina- fucking - lly!

Thank you, concussions. You have taught me a lot. I have been a little more out there since I have healed much more. I feel like I want to live life, to not hold back. To be a go-getter, to force myself into uncomfortable/awkward situations and still rock out of it at the end. I've been sucked out of life and fun for the past 6-7 months. My year was nothing but trying to heal and get into McMaster: sleep and school, that's it, 24/7. I haven't even worked out for 7 months. I mean, really work out.

So with tomorrow being prom. I know that any other insecurities or feelings of unease, nervousness, uncomfort, etc. from all of the university friggin stresses, stresses of fucken marks, and whatever else wil be long gone. I will feel so euphoric, relaxed, content, and grateful, like the time after April 3, when marks made to the report cards.

Oh, SIGH. Deep breaths here. No stress.


IT'S TIME TO FUCKEN GO CRAZY. PARTY SO LOUD. PARTY SO HARD. AND GET FUCKEN CRUNK!! NO TIME TO HOLD BACK. TIME TO FUCKEN LET LOOSE AND JUST HAVE FUN!

So here it is, a night to FUN! It will be a night to remember ladies and gentlemen! :D :D